As soon as you get engaged, people are going to start telling you what you should and shouldn’t do. There will be stories of how this was so amazing at their wedding or this went horribly wrong. People just love sharing their opinion and giving advice. In most cases, they all have good intentions or were simply wanting to share a story. Either way, you are going to find yourself with so many opinions that you might not know what to do. Here are some tips for dealing with wedding advice.
Dealing with Wedding Advice
The first thing to do is to figure out what type of person you are. Are you the type of bride that has it all figured out or at least a good chunk of it or are you the type of bride that is totally lost and needs a ton of help?
Type A Brides
Type A already has a good idea of what she wants from her wedding. In general, she is the organized type and always has a plan. She’s probably got a few Pinterest boards and maybe has been planning her wedding for quite some time (possibly even before she was engaged).
For the Type A bride, the wedding advice is either unwanted or overwhelming. She either already has her mind made up on everything or hearing the advice causes confusion. In most cases, it’s best for her to avoid most of the advice.
Type B Brides
The Type B bride is the opposite. She is more of a free spirit or an unorganized type. She might have a few ideas of what she wants for her wedding, but overall, she doesn’t have things planned and doesn’t know what to do.
For the Type B bride, the wedding advice could be helpful. She needs to figure out what to do, so the advice could lead her in the right direction. Again, the problem might be that too much advice causes confusion. Who do you listen to?
Picking the Right Advice
Once you know where you stand, whether you need advice or not, the next step is sorting through all the advice to find what is useful. Some of it will be good, some ok, and some not useful at all.
I would suggest using two factors to determine if the wedding advice is helpful or not: the source and how it makes you feel. It doesn’t sound nice, but some people’s advice is going to be better than others. Think about who the person is, their personality, and their wedding experience. For example, you should probably listen to a wedding planner with 15 years of experience over some high school girl that’s never had a relationship over 3 months.
The other thing is how the advice makes you feel. As soon as you hear it, you will have some kind of reaction, either positive or negative or somewhere in the middle. That initial reaction will tell you whether to pursue the idea or not.
To keep track of things, you can make a list. Only keep the ideas that pass those two factors.
Turning Down Advice
This might be the toughest part of the whole process. There will be some people that will keep pushing their opinions on you. Eventually, you’ll have to tell them yes or no. Saying no could be a touchy situation. How do you tell your soon to be mother-in-law you don’t want to wear her veil? How do you tell your super religious grandmother there will be alcohol and dancing?
Honesty is usually the best policy. Talk to them early in the process and don’t drag it out. The longer they think their idea is going to happen, the harder it will be to hear no. Sit down with them and let them explain their side and listen. Then, explain your side.
Most people will honor your wishes and that will be the end of it. Others will still get upset. From there, it’s up to you to decide what to do. It’s your wedding, and you should have the final say. If the person is someone important, try to compromise. Maybe you will wear the veil in some photos but not for the entire day. If the person is someone that’s not really close, you won’t have to worry about pleasing them.
Everyone has an opinion, but dealing with wedding advice is way trickier than something simple like picking an outfit for dinner. You’ve got to sort through all the wedding advice and determine if it’s something you want, and then you have to find a way to gently let people know you aren’t going to do what they said. Hopefully, my advice has been helpful, but then again, feel free to listen to it or not!