groom being tossed in the air

Secrets to getting your groom onboard with wedding planning

There are some things that guys really care about and things that we really don’t care about at all. I personally don’t care about the pillows on my couch or bed, but I know some ladies will have hundreds and they have to coordinate some how. Planning a wedding might be one of those things guys don’t care about, but it’s important for them to be involved. Your wedding day is one of the biggest days of your life, so it makes sense that both the bride and groom would want to be involved in the planning process. When it comes to planning your wedding, it’s important to give the groom freedom to choose his involvement. By discussing his preferences, you can avoid making assumptions about what he wants, and you can play to your strengths as a couple to make compromises. Communication is key, so it’s crucial to talk about the planning process with your groom and consider hiring a wedding planner to help make the process less stressful.

Give him Freedom to choose his involvement

I think we can all agree that we are happy when we are given freedom versus being forced into things. In general, this is a good strategy for dealing with grooms. Don’t go in assuming he is going to be part of every little decision and force him to do that. After a month of that, he will probably check out completely. Instead, give him some freedom. He might not choose to be there for every little thing, but I bet he will be in a better mood for the things he chooses.  By giving him the freedom to choose his level of involvement, you can ensure that both of you have a say in planning your dream wedding.

engagement photo with disc golf

Don’t make assumptions about what the groom wants

I think everyone knows the saying about making assumptions. This goes for your wedding and groom as well. It’s crucial not to assume that the groom doesn’t want to be involved in the planning process. Some grooms may surprise you with their interest in certain aspects of the wedding, such as the cocktail hour, the DJ, or the honeymoon. It’s also important to not assume you know what they want. Just because they like things laid back and simple at home doesn’t mean that’s what they want for their wedding. So, don’t forget to discuss the different parts of the wedding and make decisions together to create the perfect wedding day.

groom running from groomsmen

Talk about it with the groom

The way to solve most of the issues is through talking. Talk about giving him freedom, but in that same conversation talk about how much it means to you for him to be involved at least some. Communication is key when it comes to wedding planning. By talking about the different parts of the wedding with your groom, you can address any disagreements and make compromises that suit both of your preferences. Whether it’s sorting out the to-do list, finalizing the guest list, or choosing the wedding date, discussing these details will help ensure that you’re both on the same page.

groom being tossed in the air

Play to your strengths

I’m pretty good with technology, but I am horrid at organization. It would be a huge mistake to put me in charge of something like table arrangements, but I could handle putting together a slideshow. When it comes to planning your wedding, it’s important to play to your strengths as a couple. If the groom enjoys organizing details and delegating tasks, let him take the lead in certain areas of the planning process. This, again, is where freedom and communication is important. Talk about what he wants to be in charge of. He knows what he’s good at and what he cares about. Put him in charge of those things while you focus on things that you are good at like maybe making a wedding budget. 

groom smoking cigar

Make compromises with your groom

Sometimes there are going to be disagreements about what should happen at the wedding. Maybe he wants a band and you want a dj. It’s important to make compromises with him. Don’t simply tell him this is what we are doing. That will shut him down. He will feel like it’s not his wedding anymore. Talk about things and come to an agreement. Whether it’s about the budget, the choice of wedding venue, or the wedding night plans, it’s important to consider each other’s preferences and make decisions that reflect both of your desires for the big day.

silhouette groom photo

Give yourself plenty of time for planning

This is great advice for all couples getting married. Make sure you have plenty of time to take care of everything. I usually suggest at least 6 months to a year. Planning a wedding can be stressful, so it’s essential to give yourself plenty of time to figure things out. I’ve found that when couples have less time, one person usually jumps in and does all of the work. This does get things taken care of, but it leaves the other person not involved. Give yourself plenty of time to figure it all out. 

Consider a Wedding Planner

After you’ve talked about things and given your groom freedom to be involved, if you are feeling stressed, consider hiring a wedding planner to help make the process smoother. A professional planner can offer valuable tips to help make wedding planning more manageable and take some of the stress off your shoulders, allowing you to enjoy the journey towards your wedding day. The planner’s involvement can be as much or little as you need. For most, I suggest letting the planner narrow things down to a few choices, and then the couple makes the final decision.  

couple with st. Louis arch in background

Conclusion: The Perfectly Planned Wedding

Getting the groom involved in wedding planning can be a rewarding and enjoyable experience for both partners. Each will fill like they’re wants have been met and that the wedding is really about both of them. It’s important to communicate openly and make sure that both partners feel valued and heard throughout the planning process.  By working together as a team, the wedding planning process can become a bonding experience that sets the tone for your future life together. 

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