Anyone that knows me, knows I’m a laid back guy. I’m a live and let live type of person, and it takes a lot to get me bothered. I attribute it to my 10 years of teaching, but I think that’s always been my personality. The last thing I want is a bunch of drama and confrontation. Unfortunately, that’s not always how life goes. Drama is bad enough in normal life, but wedding drama is ten times worse. I don’t see it that often, but I thought I’d share some tips for dealing with wedding drama.
Reasons there’s drama
Weddings are so, so important. It’s the start of a new life for two people, the connecting of two families, and let’s not forget, a wedding costs a lot of money! It’s no wonder that people can get a bit stressed out and have some drama.
I think a good portion of the drama happens because people want the day to be special. All your friends and family have their hearts in the right place, but when you have too many people involved, someone is going to get upset. Think about it. Your mother thinks you should do this, your sister wants you to do that, and then there are 5 other opinions floating around. Then, to make things even more complicated, you have your own wishes and dreams!
Relationships can be complicated as well. Your wedding will be filled with hundreds of people. Sometimes there might be some drama between your guests. It might be two cousins that don’t get along or maybe some issues with divorce.
Ok, now that we’ve looked at what causes some of this wedding drama, let’s look at how to either avoid it altogether or fix it.
Tips for Dealing with Wedding Drama
1. Identify The Drama
The first step is always to figure out what the problem is. Are you feeling overwhelmed or stressed out? Think about why you feel this way, and then you can figure out how to deal with it. Is it a person, one particular thing about your wedding, or is it something you’re doing?
The great thing about this step is that most of the time you can stop the drama before it even starts. You know your family, friends, and relationships. Think about all of that and you can figure out what problems might pop up. This leads to the next step.
Oh my! So much drama is caused by people being unwilling to talk about things. We all tend to bottle things up until it becomes a problem. If people simply talked about things, most issues would be resolved.
The big thing is to talk about things before they get out of hand. If you know in advance from step 1 there is a possible problem, talk to that person early. This way things get taken care of before there’s a lot of emotion built up.
Another extremely important part of this step is how you communicate. The way you bring up the issue and your tone of voice can either disarm the situation or ignite it. Go into the conversation in a calm manner. Make sure you explain your side but don’t attack them. Also, make sure to let them express themselves and look at things from their point of view.
Most people will listen if you express yourself in this manner, and things will be good. Still, the next step might help make things better with everyone or solve issues that weren’t solved with communication.
If you’ve done the previous steps and things are still not fixed, you might want to compromise. Compromises work because both sides get a little bit of what they want. Maybe you get the style of dress you want, but you have to wear a veil to make your mother happy. This is so much better than everyone being angry.
I would only jump to this step if it’s really necessary. Don’t simply give in to everyone that is wanting you to do something. Think about who the person is and what they are wanting before you decide to compromise. Making your mother happy is probably a higher priority than making your third cousin happy.
4. Do what you want or remove the problem
I really hope it doesn’t come to this step, but sometimes people can be unreasonable. If you’ve gone through everything and the issue isn’t resolved, it’s time to put your happiness and your wedding first.
There are two ways you can do this. One, just go ahead and do whatever you want to do. It’s your wedding and you should be happy with it. After all the things you did to try to solve the problem and make others happy, don’t be afraid to put your foot down and say, “This is what we are doing!”
The second option is no fun, but it might be what you need. Sometimes you just have to remove the drama, even if it’s a person. I know this sounds really harsh, but if you’ve tried to be nice and someone is still causing problems, remove them. This can be either not communicating with them until after the wedding or more drastically, telling them not to come to the wedding. Hopefully, if you bring up this last option, the person will straighten up, but if not, follow through. Again, it’s your wedding and you shouldn’t let some unreasonable person ruin it.
I hope you have no drama to begin with! I hope everything is wonderful and the people around you are a joy. If this isn’t the case though, I hope these steps resolve all of your drama and you have a wonderful wedding! Go through them one by one, and I bet things will get a lot easier.